What is it about Mondays? They just never seem to be great days. I really wish I didn't have to write this blog today, but I know how much everyone wants to know about Pat's status. Well to be totally blunt, right now it sucks! Pat's white cells shotback uo to 40,000. A normal count is about 5,000. His leukemia blasts have not budged. Not only did this chemo not work, but I believe it has caused some weakness in his hands. It is hard for him to hold anything for longer than a few seconds without dropping it. I looked the side effects of this chemo up online and muscle weakness and loss of coordination does sometimes occur. Our backs are up against the wall. We have one more shot at trying to get these leukemia blasts down. I believe they are going to try a chemo that has put Pat in remission before with the hopes that it will get his blasts down to at least 50%. I asked Pat straight out today if he just wants to stop and come home...his answer was an absolute no! He's in it to win it! Today my heart is aching, every now and then my minds wanders and I get so afraid of what the future holds for us. I got an email today that said God won't lead us to it if he can't pull us through it. I've got to believe that. I fall asleep praying, I pray in the car, I pray at the hospital, I never stop. We need his muscle strength back, his blasts gone and his continued inner strength, please pray for all those things. Here's to a better tomorrow.
xoxo,
Jules
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Dearest Pat & Julie,
I don't know what else to say other than I will absolutely continue to pray for you. Please please please hang in there. Mondays do suck, but tomorrow is a new day and it will be here before you know it. We all need you to be okay and beat this friggin' thing once and for all!
Love,
Marianne
Hi Julie,
I am at a loss for words. If you need anything...please please please let me know. If you would like company at the hospital, just call me and I will be there!!! If the kids need anything...please let them know they can call on us. That's what family is for :) We love you guys and we are here for you.
Love,
Maribeth
Dear Uncle Pat,
It's Blake. I hope your white get back down. I am praying for you and I want you to ride your motorcyle. Zac and Luke say Hi and hope you feel good soon.
Love, Blake Sigler 11-11-2007
Hey Smith's-
I'm the first to respond to your latest blog. So here goes......
I got that same email today. I believe that it's pure "TRUTH"! Pat, you're gonna pull out of this. The first thing out of Cory's mouth this week end was: Mom, how's Pat doing? I'm sure he wanted to know if God's hearing his prayers for you where he lives. It probably helps him to know that if God is hearing his prayers for you, surely he'll hear the one's he says for himself when he stuggles and questions his own life and where he is. His new answer for his daily struggles is simply: "God's testing me, that's all". He also stated recently: "God never want's to see us sick", "It hurts him when we are".........some very comforting words out of a young man's mouth I thought. This is your test Pat......it doesn't make sense. It hurts, it's long, family hurts (in a differant way), there is struggle after struggle, BUT...cancer DOESN'T have your brain or your heart! You can think ANY thought and love WHO you want. That is your sense of control when you believe you have none. We have faith that you won't give up with this test. We'll continue to pray and check on you every single day, so don't forget that! Julie...you stay tuff too! You're not the same woman I used to know.....I'm so proud of your new inner strentgh, wow!
All our love-Teri
The human will is a powerful thing. You are (both)living proof of this. We speak of you every day and are awestruck by your faith and courage. Our prayers, as always, are with you.
Lauren and Mike
I just want you both to know that I love you! 6 is my lucky number-always has been so I can't wait till the day you are on the 6th floor! For some it's just a simple elevator ride..for you it's the journey of your life but I know you have the inner strength and endurance to make it. Pat when you set your mind to something you always follow through and I KNOW you will win this fight! I love you and your family more than words can say... Stay Strong!!!!!!
April
Pat & Julie,
I really do not know what to say except we continue to pray every day. The first thing I ask Robert when he gets home is "How is Pat?" Keep believing and fighting that you are going to beat this. If any of you need anything, anything at at all, please let us know. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully we will have good news.
We love you all.
Kim, Gavin & Nolan
Pat and Julie,
"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you". Deuteronomy 31:8
Still praying for you every day, still believing in The Great Physician. Lift your eyes to Him and when you think 'I just can't do it anymore', that's when you will hear Him say - I CAN! Fall back into the loving arms of Jesus and rest - He's got your back!
Love,
The Martel's
Dear Pat & Julie,
I hope this little poem gives you hope and encouragement.
FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was only one set.
This bothered me because I noticed during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord, if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. why, when I needed you most have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, my precious child, is when I carred you."
Please know our prayers continue each day. NEVER STOP BELIEVING OR TRUSTING IN THE LORD!
aunt Mary
Your Aunt Mary and I were thinking the same exact thoughts....The Footprints Poem is EXACTLY what you need to believe. Our Lord is there for you, to carry you through these unexplainable rough spots. Its ok to ask for help but never stop fighting. Easy for us to say, I know, but Pat & Jules, if anyone can kick Leukemia Butt, its you guys. You have always been "Team Smith" so tighten up that grip and win this! I love you all so much.
Love, Terri H & family
I KNOW TODAY WILL BE BETTER !!!! PAT YOUR ARE THE STRONGEST ONE I KNOW AND JULIE YOUR THE BEST HE CAN HAVE . STAY STRONG AND WE ARE PRAYING EVEYDAY I PROMISE ----BRYAN
Dear Patrick, The Birkinshaw Family just made out their Christmas wish list and the only thing on it is 6th floor bone marrow... I know in my heart it will happen. When I read April's blog she mentioned that her lucky number has always been 6. I can always remember Mom telling me that her lucky number was 6. So, take a DEEP BREATH today and let's get you moving up to the 6th floor!! Love you, Sista Sandy
Thought for the day.
"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever". Psalm 73:26
Mondays do suck...but today is Tuesday...one day closer to Friday and one day closer to transplant. Leukemia may have pulled ahead in the past couple days, but this race is not over...not by a longshot. I don't care how strong this evil bastard is...you are stronger and you will kick it's ass!!! I'm sorry for the language but I'm pissed!!! Love, Dayna
Pat and Julie... I AGREE WITH DAYNA 100%!!! I am pissed too - I want to get to bone marrow and get you outta there!!! Pray, pray, pray for some good news today!!! Love you both, Maribeth
Hi Pat & Julie,Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.You keep hanging in there Pat,your an inspiration to us all.
Bill & Susan Hoyem
Hi Pat,
My older brother went through these same highs and lows during his battle with cancer and he simply outlasted it and ultimately made it into remission. I know that you will do the same.
Please remember these great words from the very short and very famous Winston Churchill speech from a high school commencement in 1941:
"Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."
You will defeat this, you will persevere, and we are all with you EVERY step of the way. We're thinking of you constantly.
Love,
Steve and the guys
Pat and Julie,
I know God is going to work a miracle. He always works in his time. Just know that he is in complete control. He promises that he will never leave us. Stay strong in your faith. We love you very much.
Uncle Dave and family
FAITH FOR YOU
Faith is
your finger and
hands...
Faith is
your mouth and
ears...
Faith is
Your eyes and
brain...
Faith is
your love and loves
Faith is
your god and life...
Faith is not only tommrow
today also...
Live faith fully with love...
and keep the faith Pat.
We all have faith in you.
We love you and pray for your complete recovery.
Marcia and Rob, Robby and Scott
Hi,
I want to say Hi and tell you that I am getting a Dallas Cowboys Locker For My bedroom. Are you feeling better? I hope you are.
By: Blake Sigler
11-13-2007
PAT,
DO NOT GIVE UP THIS FIGHT. YOU ARE AN AWESOME HUMAN BEING AND WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. YOU ARE OUR HERO AND WE ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTH.
HANG IN THERE BUDDY,
KYLE AND THE GANG
To My Friend Pat,
The entire crew is rooting for your full recovery. We know you can do it because your a Smith.
Dear Pat,
Ain't no mountain high enough! You are facing a situation that requires a tremendous amount of strength, both physical and mental. It is not to feel crushed by the situation, but to access the strength you never thought you had deep within yourself. Please connect with that part of you that can heal and renew your energy. All your family, friends, co-workers and bloggers are sending you support and encouragement 24/7 to help you.
Faithfully, Jo Ann
I think it has all been said. You must feel the love and respect shown in all the comments. There is little I can add except to tell you to reread one of my my early comments, the beautiful Psalm 91. I believe we are all "his angels" and we are surrounding you and your family with love and strength to fight this wicked disease.
Love
Aunt Marcie
I read all these blogs and wonder what I can say. I will just say keep strong, know your loved, and beat this beast.
Jeff
WE ALL LOVE PAT AND THE REST OF THE SMITH'S, IF WE WERE ALL AT AN ANGELS GAME RIGHT NOW- IT WOULD BE UP ON THE SCREEN FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE....."PAT SMITH BEATS LEUKEMIA"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEN,EVERYONE STANDS UP AND CHEERS FOR LIKE 10 MIN. (THE SOUND IS DEAFENING). CAN YOU SEE THAT PAT? CAN YOU PICTURE IT? TAKE A MOMENT AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND BE IN THE MOMENT WITH THAT. FEELS GOOD HUH??? WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU WITH THAT SOUND,FEEL AND SIGHT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR OUR HERO....PAT SMITH.
LOVE YA-TERI
I am constantly thinking about you and just want you to know I love you...you are my big brother. Keep fighting Pat, keep fighting! I miss you and hope to be able to see you soon.
Love,
April
Pat and Julie,
Pat and Jules, we are blown away by your incredible strength. Don't give in or give up. We all love you and need you so much. Please, please...let us know if there is anything we can do for you...we pray for you and your family daily and then some. Pat...please kick this damn leukemia in the ass...
The entire Kaplan crew
Pat and Julie,
April just sent me your link...I am PRAYING for you Pat, for you to have the strength to beat this thing, for the inner strength you need, and for your blasts to lower...and for your family! My Dad, Joe, is sending prayers your way too. Keep up the fight Pat, your obviously a fighter!
Love and Hugs, "Baseball Snetney" Stephanie Hanhauser (McKirahan)
Just wanted you to know, were thinking of you both and praying for you... Praying for a good day!
Lis and Dave
Just want to let you know our prayers have been with you through this whole process and continue to be with you. You are such an inspiration.
Many Blessings,
Dave and Janet Hickey
Pat, Julie & Family:
Just a note to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Stay strong!
Kristy Beal
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