A Different Life

Things have started to settle down just a bit. Brady said it perfectly the morning after Pat died, "we woke up this morning to a completely different life." We are all doing our best to put one foot in front of the other. We speak about Pat in all our conversations, he is missed so much. I can't believe that I will never touch him again on earth, the thought of that sometimes overwhelms me. Our Thanksgiving was nice, quiet and relaxing. Crazy Chloe woke me up at 5:30 am to go shopping at Wal-Mart this morning, we had a blast. Her and her boyfriend Joey put up our Christmas lights today, she was adamant about getting that done ASAP. We still have many tough days ahead of us, I have no doubt we'll make it with the love and support of all our family and friends.
Pat's service was so amazingly wonderful. We were so touched by the turnout, the kind and thoughtful words spoken, and the feeling of love and warmth that surrounded us. What a wonderful spirit he possessed, I love him even more than ever! To everyone who had any hand in helping put his "Celebration" together...all our love and thanks, it was perfect. I am so sorry about the PA system. I didn't realize that people weren't able to hear all the beautiful tributes. Brock has agreed to let me post his speech here on the website. I was so proud of how eloquently he spoke that I really wanted to share it with as many of you as possible. Brady worked tirelessly on the video and it was pefect. Chloe put together the service, chose the music and the verses...Great job!! Pat keeps on pushing us forward, thanks honey! We love you all, thank you for the food, the flowers, the charitable donations, and all your heartfelt cards. I don't know how long I'll keep blogging because this is all new to me. I don't think I realize yet just how lonely I am going to feel. I do know that my heart aches and my hands long to squeeze Pat's hand one last time. But my dad told me it could be one more time, it could be 1000 more times and it will still never be enough. Father does know best. Love and prayers to you all. (Brock's tribute below, enjoy.)
xoxo,
Jules

Hello everybody, I know most of you know who I am but for those who don’t I am Brock Smith and I am very much honored to say that I am Pats son. First off I wanted to thank everybody for coming here today, We do not want to feel like we are here to mourn my dads passing but rather we are here to celebrate his life because I know that is what he would want. The last thing he would ever ask from us is for our pity or grief towards him but I know he would want us to remember all of the good times and many laughs that we were so blessed to be able to share with him. As we know My dad never wanted to be the center of attention, it was never about him because he was so selfless in every aspect of his life that I think it is only deserving that we do have this day to remember the man who touched all of our lives so deeply. Whether it was directly or indirectly my dad has left a lasting impression on all of us that I know we will never forget. The amazing thing about that to me is how big of an impact he was able to make on all of our lives with saying so little. The Pat that we all know was not a man of many words or never very outspoken or the center of attention but that’s what was so amazing about him. He did not have to say anything for us to know what he meant because he made it so apparent through his actions. He did not need to tell me that he loved me all the time, I knew he loved me with all of his heart and that was good enough for me. The saying actions speak louder than words, has never been more true than in his case. He just had the ability to put a smile on anybodies face at any given moment. He loved nothing more in life than our family and worked so hard to make sure that he could give us the best life that he possibly could and wanted nothing more than for us to be happy. As much as he loved his family he loved his friends just as much as you all know and would do anything for anybody without thinking twice. Even in his last few days with us here, all he wanted for us to know is that he is fine. That’s all he wanted us to hear is that he is fine and not to worry about him. No matter how hard he had to fight or how difficult life was for him he never wanted us to worry about him. Even up through his last spoken words he refused to believe that this could be the end. In his mind he knew not matter what card he was dealt he was going to keep fighting and he was not going to give up. Giving up for him was never an option and he lived true to that until the very end, he never gave up because he had everything to live for. My dad fought everyday just so he could see the next day and spend that extra time with the people he loved. Another thing that I will never forget about my dad is that he was a man of his word. If he told you something or made a promise to you he would do whatever it took to live up to his word. Earlier this year when I had moved away to college and had started playing soccer I received a card from my family which he wrote in. He told me that he will make it to a soccer game this year, there was no doubt in his mind. As the games went by and he remained unable to attend, he finally got his chance to possibly make it to a game and he did. He was able to see me do what I love one last time and I will never forget that day since it turned out to be the last moment I was able to share with my dad outside of a hospital since he was back there the next day. Another memory I ill never forget came less than a week ago when I was at the hospital on one of my dads last days. I just wanted to stay up with him all night and just let him know that I was there with him. As the night rolled on and sleep had finally caught up to me I had a very short moment where I was no longer fully awake but I was not asleep either. I found myself walking towards my dad who was standing outside so I obviously had to ask him what he was doing. He then pointed in the distance towards the biggest mountain I had ever seen, I mean this thing went straight up into the sky and I could not even come close to seeing the top. As he was pointing he told me that he was going to climb that mountain. Not wanting him to go alone I of course asked if I could go with him and he told me simply that I am not ready. This still was not making sense to me so I had to ask him why he wanted to climb this mountain and he told me because there are people waiting for him at the top. I still felt so bad and lost and asked him why he was having such a hard time breathing, and in his simple Pat Smith way he told me not to worry it was just the altitude that was causing it, nothing else. He then packed his backpack and that was it. I was back awake no more than a minute later and it had all made sense to me. This was his climb to heaven to go see his mom who was waiting for him at the top. And the amazing thing is he managed this climb in sandals, shorts, and a tee shirt, classic Pat Smith right there. Less than a day after he started his climb he finally made it to the end of his journey and is now resting comfortably in heaven, still surrounded by people he loves and he will continue to watch over us until that one day when he is waiting for us at the top of that mountain. Situations like this really make me question why things have to happen the way they do, why did it choose such a selfless, kind, loving man? Why do things sometimes seem to be so unfair? Why was a man so full of life taken away from us long before his time? I myself have not been able to start to answer these questions for I simply do not know, yet one thing that I have been able to get from this is that life is a very fragile thing and many of us including myself have taken it for granted at some point in our life. There should be no reason as to why we should not live every single day like it is our last and take nothing we have been given for granted because we never know what is in store for us next My dad will be truly missed by each and every one of us and there will not be a day that goes by that I do not think of the man who made me into the person I am today. My dad was truly one of a kind. He will never be forgotten because he is still very much alive within every one of us and memories are something that will never die nor be taken away from us. My dad will always remain the biggest inspiration in my life and he will always be my hero. Thank you.

-Brock Smith