Sunday, November 16, 2008

There are no words

After 365 days, I can no longer find the right words. I truly believe that's because the words don't exist. I miss my husband....his smile, his smell, his disdain for the telephone and reality tv. I miss how much he loved his children, the beach, his dogs, his family, his friends, his employees, and of course me. We get up every single day and continue forward, that is how Pat would not only want it to be, but demand it. For those of you who thought we had it "all", you were right and you still are right. Right in the fact that we are all healthy,that we have each other, we have a roof over our heads, and have the unconditional love of family and friends. We do not miss a single chance to make a memory, you shouldn't either. Our pain cannot be cured. We have put a band aid on it and keep plugging away. I am so fortunate, Pat was "it" for me. I know we got along like oil and water, total opposites, butted heads time and time again. Be it stubbornness, tenacity or whatever you want to call it, we just refused to give in. I think I'll call it love. Brady, Brock and Chloe continue to amaze me. For those of you who work with Brady, you will know what I mean when I say OMG!!!! Could he be more like Pat? He has stepped in and become a strong contributor at the shop. I am so proud of him. Brock had to face another soccer setback, with an injury that kept him out the entire season. Silver lining...the coaches granted him a red shirt and he gets to travel with the team to Costa Rica. He has the gift of resilience. Miss Chloe is loving the college life. I think she had 4 best friends before we were done unpacking her! She says everyone loves her and look to her to provide the fun, she's so modest just like her mama! I know Pat is beaming with pride as he watches his children live their lives with such strength and grace.
The Smith Family is going to take it one day at a time, that's the best we can do. We will miss Pat today, tomorrow and forever.
I will close with this sentiment that I found on another website. It pretty much should sum it up for all of us.
" I will travel empty handed.
There is not a single thing
I have collected in my life
That I would ever want to bring
Except
The love of those who loved me,
and the warmth of those who cared.
The happiness and memories and
magic that we shared.

Much love and blessings for a happy, healthy life.
xoxoxo,
Julie

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think about Pat all the time and actually still wait for him to walk in the door...I miss him so much so I can only imagine how you, Brady, Brock and Chloe must feel. I think about the day we met as Starbuck's before we went to visit him and I wish we could have that day back. You're so right about making memories and not taking one little thing for granted...I am thankful for that. I feel so lucky to have you and your kids in my life.
Love, Dayna

Anonymous said...

Dear Julie, Brady, Brock,and Chloe,
As Thanksgiving nears, I couldn't help but think of you all and of Pat. I know that although time goes by and life gets busy, you are all missing Pat and all the happiness he brought to your lives. And nothing anyone says can fix that, but I hope you know we are all thinking of Pat and your family and sending our love to you all.And he would be so proud of you all for your strength and for the way you live your lives.
Love, Brenda

Anonymous said...

Just thinking of you! I get to enjoy another fun filled weekend with your wife and kids. Thank you for all the great memories and leaving behind such an awesome family.
WISH YOU WERE HERE.

MISS YOU.

TK

Anonymous said...

Just thinking of you! I get to enjoy another fun filled weekend with your wife and kids. Thank you for all the great memories and leaving behind such an awesome family.
WISH YOU WERE HERE.

MISS YOU.

TK

Sheri said...

You are all still in our thoughts and prayers.

jakattack34 said...

Just thinking of you and all of the good times we had. Wish you were here.

Miss you bud!

TK