Hi everyone. Thank you to all who read Brock's tribute and commented, it means so much to share this journey with loved ones. The kids and I have all noticed that the days seem to be so long. We are all so exhausted, yet sleep does not come easy. I am having a really hard time getting those last 4 days out of my head. I realize it will take time, lots of time. Staying busy seems to help, but then all of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks. I just can't believe that I'm not sitting next to Pat's hospital bed watching the Food Network and Dr. Phil, who by the way he did not like, he said they yelled too much on that show. He did however like Rachel Ray and Tyler Florence for all you foodies out there! I keep asking myself did I do everything I could, did I tell him everything I wanted him to know. Questions I'm sure that will never be fully answered. I do know one thing, I didn't know missing someone could hurt this much. I am never alone, but I am lonely. So many times I long to call Pat's cell(one of my favorite past times), just to say hi or share a silly story. He would always listen, I'm not sure he always heard, because we all know how much Pat loved talking on the phone...haha. As we struggle each day to keep on going, we ask the same question over and over.."what would Dad want us to do?" So, we don't lie around...we go to school, work, the dog park, the gym, yes even the casino...because life does go on and "it is what it is." The kids and I have made it very clear that we will honor Pat everyday by living everyday and remembering his giving spirit. We will try our best to speak kinder, be more forgiving and look for that "silver lining." Believe me this is not easy and we will stumble and we will fall, but we will pick ourselves up and give it another go, because that's what Dad/Pat would want us to do. Talk to you soon. Love and good health.
xoxo,
Jules
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9 comments:
Hi Julie,Your strength,memories,and your great support system of family and friends will help you get thru this.The pain will subside somewhat as the wonderful memories you and the kids have of Pat daily fill your hearts and minds.
Bill Hoyem
Julie, I want you to know that we are still praying for you and your family to find peace and happiness. Also, I hope that you find comfort in knowing that Pat's passing and the beautiful words of advice you gave us all during the celebration of Pat's life will forever be left with us. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Pat's amazing spirit goes on! Sheri Willshire & Joe Hurst
Hi Aunty Julie,
Hi and I miss Uncle Pat to. Cooper likes to go to the dog park to maybe we can go to the dog park sometime.
I love you.
Blake Sigler 11-29-2007
Call me anytime Jules...I'll listen to your funny stories....you know I don't sleep all that much either, so anytime day or night...I'll answer. Lets have our girls night real soon, stare at the stars and tell funny Pat stories. I love you my friend.
Love ,
Terri H
Yea.......I'm up for the dog park too. Well, Chili & Mom! I'm ready for the girls night any time. It must be so hard for you all, that we do know. We can't possibly know your pain, but we're here to try to ease it any way we can. Pat's Leukemia has has taught me so much. The "blog update" brought it into our homes on a daily basis. After reading it, it reminded us to stop whinning about aches and pains! I learned what it's really like to live day to day with a serious disease, and what it does to family. I found hope and faith because you shared Pat with us, Julie. It was a contsant reminder to not waste minuetes in a day....we have them, but, how are we using them? They are Gold. They cannot be bought at any price, as we have witnessed! For many months now, I was reminded daily to not just take up "air space", but to really live with more purpose. I thank you for sharing all of it with so many people, Julie. I even think the services where unique....not alot of black, a beautiful video of Pat's life, and family sharing stories, and his taco's! It was all very well done and Pat would be so proud, I just know it:)!!!
The prayers go on for you all-
Love-Teri
Julie,
Just wanted to say hi and let you know we're thinking of you and the kids, and Pat. We love you guys.
Lauren and Mike
Dear Julie,
I have no doubt that no husband ever felt more loved and cared for than Pat did. You did everything, you said everything. He knew. I pray you find the peace soon in knowing what everyone who knows you, already knows. As hard as Pat's illness was for him and your whole family, I think the silver lining was the time that you all had to really appreciate each other and show each other how much you loved each other...something that I think we are all guilty of not doing as much as we should.Your dad is right, one more time to hold Pat's hand, or one more day to tell him you loved him would never be enough because your love for each other was endless, but you did all you could in Pat's time on earth and now your love will live in your heart and in your memories and in the future you two created in Brady, Brock, and Chloe.
Love,
Brenda Grishaber
Hi there! I'm just checkin in to see how you and the kids are doing.
I really haven't had much to say and what I would have written you would have already known anyways. I too check the blog like many of the other's. Just wanted you to know your in our thoughts and prayer's for a blessed day!
Lis and Dave
I think of you Julie and kids each morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed. I look here to see what pearls you may have for those of us that ache for you. I long for a day when the volume on your pain is turned down and you can find more and more peace.
Please take care and know that you are loved.
Jilly VB
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